|
 Jan
I was flying the polar to LHR and was serving the bread and breadsticks in F/C. One lady pgr. asked what the breadsticks were. I replied with a smile - Italian chopsticks. A few minutes later I looked back into the cabin and saw her carefully eating her salad with the breadsticks.
Return to top
|
Robin
I was running late (always) and grabbed a laundry basket to take downstairs on my way to work. As I put down the basket, I heard a strange ripping sound. I looked around and did not see anything unusual. Fast forward to meeting my co-workers- 2 very friendly male f/a’s. After doing the demo, 2C (male passenger) says to me “excuse me miss, your left breast is exposed.” I looked down and saw that my wings had ripped my blouse (the laundry basket had gotten stuck on my wings-thus the ripping sound I had dismissed). The best part is that I ran into the galley and asked the other 2 f/a’s why they didn’t tell me. Their reply was that they were commuters and hadn’t been home in 5 days. As we were on a 4 day trip, they figured that was their only chance to see a breast in a while. If I told you their names you’d know this was a true story. Perverts can wear wings too!
Return to top
|
Karin
Since you mentioned male co-workers, I just had a flash back of one who was a lot of fun to work with, but you needed to be vigilant at all times. He loved to prank people. Somehow he always managed to booby trap the bar cart even though I’d be on high alert around him.
Once he hid all these tampax under the napkins on the cart, so that when I grabbed some napkins, they all went flying all over the passengers. People were so polite and gathered them up for me, grinning ear to ear. One even ran his call bell a few minutes later when he found another one in his empty shoe.
This same guy mooned me from the back while I was doing my announcements---to say I lost my train of thought would be putting it mildly--guess I should’ve been using those announcement cards...;o))
Return to top
|
|
Karin
Late one night on the last leg of a 4 leg day, an agent in STL came down the jet way at the last minute dragging a miniature passenger—what appeared to be a little boy of around 10. I think his name was Damien. She shoved him in the door, grimly said, “Lots of luck” and quickly shut the door.
Proceeding with caution, I put him in an open FC seat. Actually it took two of us to put him there ‘cause he started kicking, and screaming the moment we looked at him. One of us wrestled him down and the other one tried to buckle him up as the plane taxied into position. He successfully drowned out most of my PA announcements and I gritted my teeth as we took off with him standing up in his seat and throwing his gum at the businessman behind him and constantly dinging the call bell.
The flight was a living hell, but the crowning touch came during landing. On our final descent he made a quick dash and locked himself in the FC lav of the 727S. I quickly grabbed a metal dinner knife from the galley to unlock the lav door. I opened the door; he saw me standing there with the knife and proceeded to scream at the top of his lungs, “Somebody HELP me Please, she’s got a knife and is trying to kill me!!!
An entire plane of shocked passengers leaned into the aisle to see me standing there holding a knife in my hand. I was mortified; there I was obviously intent on mayhem. I should have just killed him anyway since he’d announced it to the world. The captain heard the entire commotion through the door and had police meeting the flight. As soon as the door opened the kid tried to bolt off—saw the police and careened back into the lav. Click.
I was drained and no longer cared. I said, “He’s all yours—lot’s of luck.”
Return to top
|
Grant
Okay...On an all nighter one time years ago, I was working first class, totally packed and every last passenger was asleep. The lights were all the way off and I was walking through the cabin (doing my 20 minute check like a good stew) when I detected the most rotten of smells..it was an allnighter after all...Knowing that the coffee bag is the most versatile of air freshners, I walked back and forth through first class waving this coffee bag in the air furiously....suddenly I realized that the bag was getting lighter and lighter and then was empty. I quickly made my way back to the forward jumpseat to resume my..ahem..reading. When the lights were turned up for landing the whole first class section was sprinkled with ronocco.
Return to top
|
Willie
I have one of many. This one is a 1011 lav story too. I had just finished my crew break on a flight to Madrid. Passengers were all tucked in, some watching the movie and others doing whatever. I headed back to the rear lav to freshen up a bit before resuming “my duties.” Still in a daze I looked at the lock which said unoccupied. I placed my hand on the door knob to enter when a passenger asked me for water. I directed the passenger to the service center 2 area where there were others that could help her. I then just open the door and stepped in when I realized that there was a heavy set woman sitting on the toilet. What I hadn’t realized was that in stepping into the lav I actually stepped into her pants that were at her ankles.
She was startled and screamed which woke me right up. The problem was that in her scare she closed her legs with my right leg tangled all up in her pants and panties.
I tried pulling my leg out but her big thighs held me firmly in place. As I pulled I noticed that I was pulling her off the seat. I finally said we have to work together here ma’am, release my leg and i’ll step out. She turned all shades of red as I felt my blood pressure rise with embarrassment. later, we both smiled at each other with an uncomfortable familiar look. I of course told the rest of the crew who had a field day with it.
Return to top
|
Grant
Probably my most embarassing moment was in my first year of flying...I was 22 straight from the farm in Ala. very shy and easily embarrassed. I was working LGA-PBI L10, I’m sure ya’ll remember that one. I was in E-zone when a very kind of in your face, female New Yorker comes out of one of the back lavs, and tells me that the blue water has just splashed on her “woowoo”..(not her words) and what was I gonna do about it? Racking my brain to come up with something to appease her, and having just learned about the universal solution to everything, I quickly said in my southern drawl, “maam we could try some club soda.”
Return to top
|
Sandy
One day while on the bar cart Im going through doing drinks. I serve the lady on the aisle her drink and she says “I'd like a straw.” I said “Im sorry ma’am we dont have any” She said I see the little straws on your cart, just hand me one.” I said Ma’am really we dont have any” She said “Look this is real simple, just hand me one of those little red straws there that you have with the napkins”(pointing to the stirrods) and I said “ Ok Ma’am, but if you can suck anything though this I’de like to have your phone #.
Return to top
|
Jeff
Okay, okay. Here’s one: I can’t remember the name of the condition (verbal dyslexia or something), but you know the one where you accidentally switch the first letters of two words in a sentence. I was doing the demo announcements once, and when I got to the seat belt portion of the show, instead of saying, “Be sure the fit is tight and low,” I said, “Be sure the TIT is FIGHT and low.” I heard what I said as I said it, but try as I might, I just couldn’t pull those words back out of the air before they hit everybody. From the roar of laughter, at least I knew that people were paying attention!
Return to top
|
Molly
Back during the last time we hired, I had a DFW airport layover with a beautiful young blond new hire on her first trip and a nice older rather large senior lady. We decided to go down to the lobby bar for a drink. We’re all sitting there, me in the middle. A large latin man sat directly across from us with a smile from ear to ear. The older F/A says “He’s making me very uncomfortable the ways he’s staring holes through me.” My jaw dropped and I looked at the beautiful new hire, knowing that he was really staring at her and rolled my eyes. We giggled. A few minutes later the bartender comes over with a huge beer and sits in in front of us telling us its from the gentleman across the bar. Before he can even set it down the old F/A says “OK thats it. Take this back, tell that gentleman that I am married, I'm not that kind of woman and I don't appreciate him olgling me like he’s been doing” The bartender says to her “are you quite finished” she said “Yes quite.” He says in that case I need to tell you the drinks is not for you ...its for "him".......pointing to me....What a mess. She excused herself to her room and crawled out of there. Me an the new hire unfortuately had to spend a couple of hours at the bar with the Big latin man who thought he was impressing us with the fact that he was an Aeromexico Pilot... But he did buy all of our drinks!
Return to top |
Donna
The one that sticks out in my mind was being a FSM on a L1011 SFO-JFK. A very tall man from Ambssador class came up to use the forward lav. He was standing by the phones. About 6’4” he was. I had a cart by the L1 door and was collecting $$$$ from a real cute blonde flight attendant that fit every blonde joke you have ever heard. My back was to the gentle giant. Well, the giant fainted...passed out..whatever. His back hit my back. I was thrust against the cart but bounced right off of that sucker while the big man kept falling. The landing position was my skirt about waist high and my legs straddling his neck. His glasses were askew and his eyes were rolling. I started shaking his face asking if he was OK. the blonde leans over the cart and says; "I think his condition would improve if you would get off his face!" That was when I realized what a picture we made. He requested we did not contact his wife about this.
Return to top
|
Kary
I had just a few months under my belt when I flew with a rather senior crew. We were on a 727 regular with the galley in the middle. I was “B” and had to sit in that row across from the galley with the passengers in my jumpseat. After we took off the senior girls were putting on their smocks and taking their skirts off! I was puzzled and asked them why they took off their smocks.They said it was so comfortable and so I tried it. The smock was the denim light blue button up one.So after a hectic dinner flight and just before landing I was standing in the galley got my jacket ,put on those landing lips and proceeded to unbutton my smock .It felt a little draft and looked down! I was standing in clear view of most of the mid section of passengers in my pantyhose and that stupid body suit blouse! I turned ten shades of red, buttoned up my smock, put my jacket on and then reliazed I had to sit in that jumpseat next to the row that got the best view. I never took off my skirt AGAIN!
Return to top
|
Jo Ann
Commuting from SF0-JFK a pax dentures were found in the lav. Announcement after announcement and nobody claimed them. One f/a put them on a tissue on her hand and walked up and down the aisle a little show and tell. Finally deduced it might be an Asian family member......went up to grandpa and pointed at him and the dentures....yep!
Return to top
|
Sheila
On my very first flight, of course I was junior, so I got R1.
Thinking I would be very “First Classy”, I opened a bottle of that yummy Delicato red wine and proceeded through first class carrying the entire bottle on a silver tray.
I leaned over to take a window pax’s order and the whole bottle slid off and conked the aisle pax on the head. It came to rest on his right shoulder, upright, with the pax behind HIM having reached forward to catch the bottle mid fall. In the process he rewhacked the poor aisle pax on the BACK of the head, as he caught the bottle. The entire cabin was silent, watching the face of the whacked pax, who said nothing, even as I wanted to crawl out the drain in the galley. (Of course, he WAS wearing a white shirt, having removed his suit coat)
I PROFUSELY apologized, then went back & loaded the cart to try again. Pushing the cart through 1st, we hit turbulance & that DAMN wine bottle fell off the cart and totally poured onto the carpet, running all the way into coach. You’d have thought it was a gallon of Gallo, as much wine that ran out of that stupid bottle.
Well, by this time the cabin was in tears from laughter, from the look of shock on my face and then the entire first class (to a person) asked for RED WINE! They said it smelled so good on the floor, it MUST taste better in a glass. They were all quite jolly & cheerful by the time we reached our destination. After that, I most definitely always poured my wine in the galley, glasses half full.
Return to top
|
|
Karla
I was working with a very nice lady, she was #1. It was around Thanksgiving time, and we had been discussing how we fixed our turkeys. Well, she always got so tongue twisted in announcement - our Cap was Bartelsbaum- you guessed it. “In command of our flight is Cap. Butterball” Boy did we laugh as well as all the Pax.
Return to top
|
Susan,
Just thought of another ‘embarrasing’ moment. This story comes from a friend of mine.
He was working the meal cart and was chewing some “breath fresh’ gum, after having eaten garlic/onion.On the cart, serving hot meals, he asked the pax at the window, “ Would you like chicken or beef?”....and the gum flew out of his mouth - landing inbetween the legs of the sleeping pax on the aisle. After turning 3 shades of red, but maintaining his cool, he carefully reached between the sleeping pax legs to retrieve the gum......dont you know-the pax woke just at that moment......OMG!
My friend has a very deep southern accent,and said to the startled pax , “Scuse me , sir, but thars sum gum tween yur legs and I was tryin to git it before it messed up yur pants.” The professional my friend is, he followed thru and the pax ended up thanking him for a ‘wonderful’ flight upon deplaning. He had never recieved such great, caring service.
Return to top
|
Denae
I was flying Flight Service Manager on a 1011. We had just finished our LAX - DC turn. For those of you old enough, that flight was always a rush & always full so by the time we landed in LA, I was desparate to pee. This minute we touched the ground I ran into the lav. I finished, stood up, tucked my skirt hem under my chin while straightening my shirt tail, with my pantyhose around my knees. (Didn’t believe in undies) and of course I was facing the door when the man in 3H opened the door. He quickly closed the door & went back to his seat and there I stood thinking that there was no way I could come out. But...I still had to make the landing announcement & open the L1 door. So, I decided a sense of humor would be the way to go. I walked directly to his seat & whispered in his ear “Just don’t tell anyone that I’m not a natural blonde.” He burst out laughing and my guess is that he still tells this story too.
Return to top
|
And there's more.......
|
|
